...wasting time, really. Since I've been drawing attention to myself, I figured I should at least give something to see. Though I suppose one could just go
here......but then, there ought to be some benefit to having an independent blogger...so I'll write about what I wouldn't in my usual space. About stuff like...church.
Seems appropriate, since those are the
circles I've been poking around. Ummm...what is there to say? I haven't gone to church willingly in years now; I'd say I stopped going about a year and a half ago. I was just sick of "church sitting" (a phrase I've become familar with). I often fell asleep during the sermons. I wasn't really lacking sleep, I just couldn't stay awake. And I absolutely hated worship. Nothing worse than literally reading Power point slides that tell you precisely how to connect with God.
My father often guiltripped me into going; he's very heavily into his faith in God. Kinda bugs me; he's the type that has health troubles 'cuz of his weight and asks me to pray for him; God forbid he actually try to eat healthy or walk any of the four dogs we keep. Don't get me wrong; I love my father. But, at the same time, well..
...anyway, the guiltrip is really what killed it for me; that my father would alternate between disappointment and frustration each week wasn't helping. I didn't want my sole reason to be at church to be to please my father. I wanted to feel something, to feel compelled to want to worship God or...something. Maybe I just wanted to stay in bed one more day a week. Either way, I was merely aware of His existence; I did my best to follow the golden rule and left things at that.
One weekend in May, I met Steve Chastain in Canyon Lake, to congratulate a friend of my brother's on his acquisition of a new house. He had just started a site called
Stupid Church People. While this mutual friend of Steve and my brother may or may not have appreciated the site, I found it fascinating. It gave form to my misgivings about church, as I recalled days long past when I would go to youth group three nights a week searching for purpose and observing the bureacracy. Maybe I'm still just lazy, and I've just found an excuse for it; regardless, I find that the sorts of things the fore-mentioned circle discuss more often than not tend to resonate with me for some reason.
...I'm still quite young, and hence prone to being impetuous, but I still can't help but agree with these, the disillusioned .... er... renegades.... er...
...what
do we call these people?
